A World of Warcraft Story

Sally (my daughter) gave me her server name and asked me to start a World of Warcraft character that looked like Jesus and was named Jesus.  So I was able to get the name Jesus, but it was spelled Jeesuzz. So, Sally then made a huge  marketing campaign online and said that Jeesuzz would be walking on water on the east shore of Crystal Lake near Goldshire. See... her level 40 Shaman could cast 'water walking' on Jeesuzz.

So, usually characters run around in the game, but I set mine to walk. And so he walked down out of the hills of Northshire Valley, and the crowd gathered around. Jeesuzz walked to the edge of the dock. I should have told the fishermen there that I would make them fishers of men, but oh well. I stepped into the water, but the spell Sally cast failed... it only works on characters of level 10 or higher!!! So... Jeesuzz sank to the bottom of the lake. When you are at the bottom of the lake and not swimming on the surface of the lake, you can only hold your breath so long, and then you die. Well Jeesuzz died and there was his corpse floating in the waters like a big squiggle of seaweed, and Sally's shaman Nechti swam down and cast ANOTHER spell that she has..... Resurrection.

So, everyone said... "Oh my god! Jeesuzz didn't walk on water, but he rose from the dead!!!"

It was fun playing Jeesuzz. You don't have a lot of gold at the lower levels, and Jeesuzz could barely afford to buy anything. But he bought several bottles of pinot noir, and several 'tough hunks of bread'. So, Jeesuzz went around opening trade with people and giving them wine and bread. And then he'd whisper to them, "Take this in remembrance of me".

Did I mention that Jeesuzz is a warlock?... which means he can summon demons.

So, Jeesuzz said to one person "Take this in remembrance of me and my demon Gaktuk" (that's the name of Jeesuzz's imp he can summon.)

One guy, (his character's name was Oxycontin), said "Oh my god! I have a priest named Gsiz! You are going to be seeing a lot more of me.

So, there we are, the twin Jesii, Jesuzz duals Gsiz... someday we dream we will join with all characters named Jesus or some variant and walk on Crystal Lake together... fifty or so of us... or more... walking on water together.

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This page contains a single entry by PG published on February 5, 2008 9:09 PM.

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